I Like Ohio (Weirdest Thing I've Seen This Week...)

I like northeastern Ohio for a lot of reasons. It's starting to be fall here, and the air is getting crisp and pleasant. Not much rain, and our woods and meadows are dry and walkable. I like NE Ohio because we're a bastion of center-left mind-yer-own-damn-business liberalism, where no fundy preacher gets any socio-political cachet. I like the Lake, and I even like most of our four seasons, though that fifth month of winter some years can be trying. But... I also like NE Ohio because we don't have too many natural disasters - too moist for fires, too well-drained for much flooding, tornadoes mostly go south of us, hurricanes don't get here. Euro settlers killed all the predators years ago, though we're getting the coyotes back. But you know what? We also don't have TERRIER-SIZED CRABS THAT EAT COCONUTS AND CAN CLIMB TREES! Call of Cthulhu players take note...