This eulogy was written for ADF's magazine, Oak Leaves, following AJ's death at the end of February 2016. It is late to the public, but I want it preserved here on the blog.
Let us take a moment to write about our good friend… our
brother... AJ Gooch. He passed from life
due to a suspected pulmonary embolism following minor surgery on the 28th
of February, 2016, at the age of forty-eight. He is survived by his son and
daughter, Madoc and Sydney, and wife Stephanie, and by the work and worth of
several organizations and communities of which he was a central part.
We met the Gooches at Stone Creed Grove’s Summer Solstice of
1998. Madoc was in a stroller, and the young family was searching for a
spiritual home. The sense of accord was immediate, and the family threw itself
into ADF, and into the local Grove.
At that time AJ’s back-injury disability, the result of an auto-accident
and subsequent surgeries, was not as severe as it would become. Throughout the
years that we knew him AJ fought against ongoing nerve and structural
difficulties, which produced chronic back-pain at levels that we guess were
well beyond what an uninjured person might suspect. He faced medical
predictions of life in a wheel-chair, but he never arrived there; largely, we
thought, due to pure cussedness, but also due to the care of his family and
ongoing alternative medical attention. AJ seldom allowed his pain to interfere
with his mood, and handled the pain that his efforts produced privately; we
consider him a fine example of a bad lot well-handled.
AJ and his son Madoc |
AJ was, maybe first of all, an organizer. When we met him he
was finishing a long term as the Seneschal (administrator) of the local SCA
Barony, where his interpersonal and political skills had allowed him to see
that group through a difficult change of leadership. He was also the ‘Lord’ of
a small but noisy household – a matter of personal loyalty and tribe, more than
bureaucracy. His work in the Current Middle Ages had given him broad experience
in organizing events large and small, handling an all-volunteer membership
work-force, and generally herding cats. From the first he was ready and willing
to share those skills with ADF. AJ served nearly ten years as Senior Druid of
Stone Creed Grove, helping us grow and solidify our work. He became a partner
in the Grove’s effort to develop Tredara as a Pagan resource, and his absence
will be deeply felt in those ongoing efforts, as in all. Our local organizer cadre being fairly
incestuous, AJ and Steph also quickly became organizers for the Starwood
Festival. While his son was young he took charge of Starwood’s Children’s
Program, and now-adult members of that community will remember him as that big,
nice guy that helped them have a great, if different, ‘church-camp’ experience.
AJ’s skill with children (some called him the
baby-whisperer) was an example of the kind of heart that AJ brought to the
world. A big, tough-seeming young man, he possessed a core of empathy and
open-heartedness. He was the sort of fellow that spent time on the phone and in
person with friends, just getting his broad shoulders wet, helping friends
process their bad times and enjoy their good ones. Certainly AJ enjoyed good
times, and his ability to bring life to a party had as much to do with his
openness and easy respect and affection as his skill as a bartender,
grillmaster, and host.
AJ, Liafal & I at the Winterstar Ball 2015 |
AJ was also a man of art, and arts. A craftsman in metal and
wood, he expressed musical talent especially as a drummer and didgeridoo
player. He developed his high level of natural talent through casual workshop
instruction, but especially by hours of real practice. (I admired him for his success
at mastering circular breathing.) AJ will be remembered in Cleveland’s
alternative community as the organizer and host of the “Thursday Night Drum
Jam”, a venerable meeting that AJ revived and preserved for many years,
bringing it out of living-rooms into notable public venues.
All of these things came together in AJ’s personal
priesthood. AJ had a desire to serve the gods and spirits, to work magic, and
to serve the community spiritually as well as by organizing. His charisma and
forthright face made him a fine public ritualist. He was ordained in ADF in 2010
and, while he did not complete the scholastic work of ADF’s training program,
served as a priest in fact in Stone Creed and the surrounding Pagan community.
He was dedicated to Brigid, both of the Arts and the Hearth, and to Manannan
the Wise. He served as a chief, a diviner, and as the occasional voice of
inspiration, bringing such things as the Oath-ring custom to SCG’s local
religion.
A person can have many sorts of luck. AJ lived with the bad
luck of his injury, but he lived, and lived a life he often enjoyed. He was
blessed with a family that he loved, and with an extended tribe that he loved
as well, in all its motley qualities, and which loved him in turn. His memorial
was attended by over three-hundred, all drawn by the departing light of AJ’s
life and work. We lit the Fire of his final offering (well, not final…) in the
fire-altar that he mortared with his own hands. His life was short, it must be
said, but it was not quiet or without reward. The wise also say that luck comes
from strength, and it was AJ’s strength - of body, heart and character – that
made his life shine brightly, and that will keep his memory equally bright in
the hearts of those whose lives he touched.
May he Roam In Pride, wherever his fate takes him.
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